You can call me an asshole

Let it be known to all who engage with me, whether professionally, personally, or otherwise, that I do hereby formally express and affirm my sincere preference for forthright, unembellished, and unfiltered communication.

The Right to Candour

I unequivocally grant and encourage all persons to speak to me with directness, honesty, and even bluntness, without concern for euphemisms, managerial doublespeak, or carefully sanitised feedback mechanisms.

If you believe I am behaving poorly, irrationally, selfishly, incompetently, or otherwise objectionably, you are at liberty — nay, invited — to say so in plain terms. Use the words that come naturally to you. Don’t dance around it. Don’t wrap it in corporate waffle. Just say it. I will respect you more for saying what you actually think than for tiptoeing around my feelings.

No Offence Taken

I hereby waive, to the fullest extent possible, my right to take personal offence at frank criticism, colourful language, or caustic assessments of my character, decisions, or conduct — provided that such expressions are grounded in truth or earnest perception, however subjective. This is not to say that I will always agree with you, but I will always prefer your candour over your restraint.

No Grudge Held

Should your words momentarily sting or catch me off guard, I commit, in good faith, to process my feelings privately and not weaponise them in future interactions. I will not penalise you for speaking plain truth. I will not exclude you from future conversations, collaborations, or invitations to drinks. I understand that clarity is kindness, and I would rather hear the hard thing than be left guessing behind a veil of politeness.

Exemptions and Caveats

This declaration does not license verbal abuse devoid of purpose, nor personal attacks intended solely to wound. It is a shield for candour, not cruelty.

My openness to harsh truths should not be mistaken for a desire to be insulted for sport.

Sarcasm, irony, and creative profanity are most welcome — provided they serve a communicative aim.

Spirit of the Agreement

Above all, this declaration is born of a desire for real dialogue — not performance, not pageantry, not the passive-aggressive theatre of modern discourse. I value authenticity over diplomacy, growth over ego, and relationships rooted in respect rather than ritual.

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